Harness the Power of You ~ Part II

John’s Story of Personal Transformation

“Personal transformation can and does have global effects.  As we go, so goes the world, for the world is us.  The revolution that will save the world is ultimately a personal one.”

Marianne Williamson

Last week, I shared a story about inner transformation and self empowerment.  In it, one of my clients, John, was struggling with a life he hates but will not claim responsibility for.  At the end of last installment, John decided to become responsible for his choices and attempt to stop blaming past decisions and circumstances for his life.    Here is the next installment:

YIPPEE, John decided he would try to stay in the present. This was the first step in his personal transformation –  admitting where he was at in relating to himself.   He decided to operate from his real self.  He stopped wishing for a self he wanted to be but was unwilling to put  effort into becoming.

“John, in this present moment, right this very minute, what would make you happy?”

“I don’t know,” John lamented, “I don’t like my marriage but I need to stay in it.”

“Okay, getting out of your marriage is not a valid option.”  I replied, “Let’s take that option  off the table. Tell me what  YOU do want so you can be happy RIGHT NOW.”

“”I don’t know'” he responded.  “Not knowing makes me feel all anxious and angry.  I don’t know what I want or who I want to be. That is scary!  It is easier to live in the past and blame the situation than it is to be honest with myself and admit I don’t know what I need to be happy.”   This was another step in self empowerment, being honest about the situation

English: Drawing of the human brain, from the ...

Self Empowerment Changes Brain Neuro-chemistry  (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Inner Transformation…

Harnessing the Power of YOU

John and I discussed how the brain’s neuro-chemistry will continue to be depressed unless he actively tried to change his brain’s activity.   The best way to change anxiety and depression is to deliberately practiced  being more positive.  Click here to read the blog on Words Can Change Your Brain.

Because of his old habits including blaming others, John sabotaged himself continuously throughout this session.   We’d be talking about how to think and be more positive and then he would cycle into “But my wife is a nag and she is never positive and I don’t know how to change her.”  I countered with, “This isn’t about your wife.  How can YOU be more positive?”

It is PROVEN that human brains need a ratio of 3 positive interactions to 1 negative interaction to feel happy.    John finally figured out no matter how many times he tried to pull me into the blame game that I was going to be adamant about personal responsibility.  He begrudgingly shared 3 positive attributes he perceived about his wife, “1) she cooks lunch and dinner, 2) she is the primary bread winner, and 3) she has a good relationship with the children.”

Now, it is his choice either to build his life off of those 3 positives or to cycle into the pit of blame.

Self Empowerment…Changing Your Neuro-chemistry

The homework I gave to John this week was to have more awareness for when he was having negative thought.  Each time he caught himself having a negative thought  he was to think about three positives in regards to that situation.  I guaranteed John that his neuro-chemistry would change.  I guaranteed his attitude towards others would change.  I guaranteed the situation would become more manageable.  I guaranteed he would be happier.  This was the start of John’s Personal Transformation Journey!

IF I GUARANTEED your life would change for the better if you were willing to work on your inner transformation, would you try to be more positive?  Would you put the effort into transforming your life and by association other lives you touch?

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