Book review, Parenting Tips

How to Help your Stressed Out Child

 

Mothering...Your Inner Connection A Book with Positive Parenting TIps

Mothering…Your Inner Connection
A Book with Positive Parenting TIps

I went on vacation last week and did not have time to write a blog post.  Instead of stressing about it, I decided to treat you to an excerpt from my book Mothering…Your Inner Connection:  A Handbook for Intentional Living.  this excerpt is from Chapter 9 entitled:

 Is Your Child Stressed Out?

A girlfriend has her 11-year-old daughter in a competitive dance club. I don’t see anything wrong with putting your child in the competitive sport of her dreams – if that is her dream and not your own as a parent. In my friend’s case, the director of the dance club keeps telling these 11-year-old developing girls that they look like “goofballs” doing their dance and they “better learn their steps or they will be demoted to a lower dance team.”  In other words, if the child doesn’t learn the steps then all the other girls will progress without her and she’ll be without her friends. How is that for the weight of the world on her shoulders?

Get this: The 11-year-old girl was crying her eyes out every day in fear of not being perfect and of losing time with her friends. Her mother comforted her by promising an extra dance session each week, so she could practice EVEN MORE! If I were that mother, I

would have really thought about talking to that threatening teacher to discuss her teaching techniques. Was it really worth the emotional damage done to this poor child? Maybe it was time to find a competitive dance club where positive language and reinforcement were the name of the game.

Why is Your Child Stressed Out?

Finally, I ask once again, why is it that our children are not getting enough sleep?  Who is filling out the forms and paying the sign up fees?  Who is running everyone around like a crazy bird, stressed to the nines herself?  Who is so concerned that dropping an activity would put her on the Bad Mom List?  We, as mothers, need to stop.  We need to state our goals for our children and then we need to see if our current situation is creating the atmosphere for our children we wish to create.

Connection Session: Take a moment to write in your journal a typical week for you and your child.

Now, look at the activities beyond the regular school day. Is this what you want for your week? Write how you feel about these activities. Rank the activities in their order of importance. Explain in one sentence why each is important to you and your child.

Which activities are you frequently late to because of time pressures or the fact that your child dilly-dallies before going there?

Now ask yourself: Are you constantly feeding your children in the backseat of your car? Are you overwhelmed?

Now the big question: Which activity can you let go of on your list?

What would you like to do with that free time? Doing nothing but resting is an acceptable answer!

Maybe you want to have dinner as a family or play a board game. Or perhaps you want to sit on the couch as your child reads quietly in his or her room.

You are Responsible for Your Stressed Child

DEVELOPING YOUR CONNECTION: Use this extra time to connect with your child. Just spend the time being together. You are responsible for your child’s life skills. You are responsible for their sleep and their contentment. Focus more on these things and less on the activities. You will be a much more effective mother.